Today my oldest flew to DC for a class trip. Sad to see them go, but its only for a few days. It’s a good experience for them. Had to be there super early, so we got back before I usually wake up. Rather than go back to sleep, I decided to work on the next SoE update, but nearly fell asleep while editing. Okay, so that didn’t work out. Now I’m rested and awake, ready for a chill day of writing and editing.

So don’t have a lot of fans. Or like, any really. I’ve got my stories posted on AO3, because it was the only place where I thought I could share it without immediately being turned out for content. The first few months the First Prophecy was up, (granted, it’s only been up about 6 months at this time) I checked every day for hits and kudos, and that first comment was something divine. I think I wrote faster because I was eager for that acknowledgement again, even though I’d promised myself I was just going to write these stories for me.

The First Prophecies is lighter than I normally write. In the editing process, I took out some of the harsher points of the story, sometimes due to whichever character’s viewpoint the tale is seen through at the time, sometimes because the flow was off, and sometimes because it’s fact in my head, vaguely referenced in the text, but never explicitly stated. Now, I think that means certain characters (especially Gabriel) appear softer than I intended.

In the description of the story, I used to start it off with Alex’s blurb, Sabe’s blurb, and then Gabriel’s, which went, “Gabriel Hart is an asshole…” and continued on. Well, I had one reviewer say, “You need to stop calling him an asshole. He’s nice to everyone. Look, he’s joking around with this person. He’s finishing this other person’s sentences. He doesn’t come across as an asshole.”

Which was disappointing to me.

Another person wrote “Gabe was set up as like your typical soulless rich corporate asshole in the beginning but really he’s like an anime secondary-level leader-type protagonist with his colorful entourage.”

Which was amusing. And I can see where they might get that. But it doesn’t change that he’s an asshole who has done and will do some terrible things, very casually.

The problem I’m running into now with the Sons of E’din series is that Gabriel starts out very young and noble. He’s got a bit of a temper, but most boys do at that age. But Sons of E’din is about how far he can fall before he is able to pull himself back up, and we’re on the descent now. I think, because so much of the story is taking a darker turn, especially with a character who is barely mentioned in any comments (Alex is the resounding favorite), it’s catching people off guard. I don’t want to drive people away, but its part of the story. These are things that happened in their childhood, that made them the men they are in the First Prophecy.

Now, maybe some of the facts will be lightened up and smoothed over in the editing process. Maybe some of the bad things Gabriel does will be cut out entirely. But the truth of his character is that he’s an asshole, and in the first draft, I am going to keep writing him that way.

I need to just continue on. I need to remember that this is my story, and I’m writing it for myself. I need to not obsessively check stats, or hope for messages from people. It felt good to know someone enjoyed my stories, but if they’re here for the fluff of the Rust Prophecy series, they’re not going to find it as Sons of E’din progresses.

Plus, I didn’t mean for it to be 200k words by year 3. This was supposed to be a shorter series, so I could focus on the Second Prophecy (which I at least started). I guess that’s an issue for another day.

TL;DR: I lost a subscriber after my last update and I’m a little bummed.

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